Friday, October 14, 2011

My Aporkalyptik Dream of running a unit of 100 Deffkoptas..

"An ork Big Mek once dreamed of flying and built himself a Deffkopta. Now he is bored with flying at breakneck speeds and simply wishes to walk again... on top of a cloud of Deffkoptas."

A hundred Deffkoptas? In one unit? :O
If you are an Ork player you probably can relate to this crazy idea of mine that will unfortunately probably never happen.

Some of you surely dream of one day building the biggest Stompa or running Da Green Tide with at least 1,000 Ork Boyz. Or.. I don't know.. somehow build a vehicle or create a single unit that in one round of shooting can produce hundreds if not thousands of shots.
You know, man-childish nonsensical ideas like that.
Funny thing how it is always about numbers and sizes with Orkz, huh?

No. Not you, metal $33 Deffkopta. No one likes your style. Go away.
My current obsession are Deffkoptas. I want at least 100 of them, because they are most definitely one of the coolest looking Ork models Games Workshop has ever made, because their rules are fun, fluffy and killy and because ....well.. DAKKA! Need I say more?

 But wait.. Deffkoptas only have a Unit Composition of 1-5! How could I possibly ever run a unit of a hundred of 'em? Well, for once I'm thankful for Apocalypse, which not only offers a nifty battle formation but is also the perfect system to field that many orky jetbikes in, because let me tell you what - the unit will eat up your points. All of your points. It's like the school bully that used to beat you up on your way to school and used to take your lunch money to spend them on tokens at the nearby Arcade..

Enter the Deffkopta Big Choppa Skwadron from Apocalypse Reloaded!
The "tax" you have to pay for this ridiculous formation is just 100 points and is totally worth the silliness that you get.

Yes! It blends!
First of all - Whirrin' Deff. You know that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark in which Indiana Jones is fighting with the stacked Nazi guy next to the plane? Remember what happened to the Nazi guy at the end of the fight. Yeah. Now you can bring the obligatory death-by-airplane-blades scene to a tabletop near you! This allows all of your Deffkoptas in close combat to exchange their attacks for a D6+1 S6 attacks instead, to represent their attempts to slurpify your opponent's little plastic dudemen. Just don't roll any 1's, though, because at the end of the combat you will lose that many Deffkoptas due to explosions.
Oh well, I'm gonna have like 100 of them. 

Floor it Boyz: Having the Strategic Redeployment move once per game is a sweet asset. One that lets you move anywhere on the table while also being able to move within 12'' of your enemies is just amazing. Sure, you don't get to shoot or assault, but being able to drop a blob of ~100 Deffkoptas on a vital objective is petty much the best thing ever. EVER.

Bommz Away: Basically an alternative version of the Bigbommz Deffkoptas may take. Once per game you get to drop this Apocalyptic Barrage weapon on a unit you passed over in the Movement phase. Yes, it means that you can use it while Turbo-boosting or using Strategic Redeployment, since it doesn't count as shooting and it takes place at the end of the Movement phase. It's not too powerful, but it will cause some damage to horde units, swarms, etc. It is S4, AP5 and is Apocalyptic Barrage-X, where X is the number of Deffkoptas in the unit. Yes, it means that you would roll 100 times to see what parts of the Apocalyptic Barrage are hit. You just place that bad boy on.. anything... and it will die. Hundreds of Tyranids/Orkz, blobs of Guardsmen? DEAD. Also, it's a Barrage weapon.. so possibly no cover saves as well. You just pick a unit and it be pulverized. Death from above, baby!

The rest:
Batshit Insane: Remember how your 1-5 Deffkoptas are afraid of losing any models, because their Mob Rule is always unavailable? They are now a Ld 100 Fearless unit, haha.

Tuff as Nailz: At T4(5) and 2 Wounds, Deffkoptas are already pretty durable. Add a decent 4+ armor save and a 3+ cover save from its turbo-boosters. Which also brings up a pretty interesting questions - If Deffkoptas use their Floor it Boyz rule and end up at least 18'' away from their starting position... do they count as turbo-boosting?

How to Make them Extra Tuff:
Oh, sup Mad Dok Grotsnik! What's that? Any model in my army can get cybork bodies for +5 pt./model, you say? I'll take a 100, thank-you-very-much. You can keep the extra parts, of course.
A 5+ invulnerable save will come in handy against all those Strength D weapons that ignore your cover saves.

MORE Dakka or More DAKKA?
This one is tough. Do I run them bare-bones with their delicious twin-linked big shootas, allowing the entire unit to be in range of their targets? Do splurge the extra 1000 points to run them all with twin-linked rokkits launchas and go after.. oh, I dunno, any Super Heavy with my 100 rokkits? I don't think I'd bother with kustom mega-blastas. Or do I perhaps run them as a mixed unit - some ratio of big shootas/rokkits? Maybe 6 out of 10 with big shootas to save some points?

Nah. Go big or go home, I say. Why avoid the chance to pay 5000 points on one unit?

Man, I can just see my opponents' faces. "You brought WHAT?!?"
It's definitely not a game winner. Mighty be on the beardy side, but it will look mighty impressive on the table and can threaten one unit at best. You could use them to screen your entire army, though.

How far am I from obtaining 100 Deffkoptas?
Eh. Not very. I only have around 12 of them, but my friend is saving a bunch for me once I get the money. I'm buying them for ~$5 a pop. So if any of you want to contribute to this insane cause and want to contribute somehow to this truly, truly outrageous Fleet.. hit me up at neiskata DOT gak AT gmail DOT com. Who knows, maybe you have a few Deffkoptas to spare or guilt me into buying.

One day it will happen.
And it will be glorious.
Oh, so glorious.


  1. This is the most epic thing I have read all day.

    Forget buying them. You should try and get people to freely contribute 100 of them. Oh, better! Have everyone paint a single deffkopta and mail it to you. It would be the single most chaotic sight on any Apocalypse table ever. With all the Black Reach boxes laying around I'll bet enough people (including me I'm sure) have an extra kopta laying around. Who wouldn't want to be part of something so epic?!

  2. It would be epic, Mike! And I like your ideas. Maybe I'll create like a little donation bar or something. I know that there are some generous people out there. It must happen!

  3. I love your blog man, but you should add a follow widget so we can all follow you without going the RSS route

  4. Never mind, I found it. For some reason it didn't pop up right away with everything else ... now I feel awkward!

  5. Hey, Old School! Thank you for the kind words, man. And yeah, sometimes you need to refresh to see the widget. I tend ot have that problem with other people's blogs as well.

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