Friday, October 1, 2010

A Warhammer 40k joke!

Progression has been really slow these few days. I have a part-time job helping a friend out with his franchise.
The Adepticon team is supposedly finally going to start meeting and we're going to try and finish our armies... well... at least assemble them. Then we'll start trying out the test paint scheme that I suggested, we'll come up with a team name and I'll draw some sketches of our display board and hopefully share them with you. Not trying to be secretive, I just have all of these ideas in my head but me and my teammates will have to talk first.
Until then, here's a slightly paraphrased and changed joke that my friend John shared with me:

An Imperial Guard platoon is defending an important bastion from an incoming Ork Waagh! The fight has been going for months with both sides losing numbers, but the Orkz are prevailing and on top of that the Guardsmen are running out of ammo and chargers. Luckily the Commissar responsible for the platoon has an idea.
"Alright, men! Listen! The greenskins are stupid. They are really, really dumb and superstitious. All you have to do is point at them and yell "DAKKA! DAKKA!" and they'll fall on the ground dead simply because they'll think they are dead". The Guardsmen of course don't believe him so to prove his point the Commissar stands up above the sandbags, points a finger at an ork and says "DAKKA!". The ork looks at him surprised, grabbing his chest. "DAKKA!", repeats the Commissar and the second shot finds the ork dead on the ground. 
Of course all the Guardsmen start yelling and pointing fingers all over the place and sure enough the horde of greenskins is decreasing slowly but surely. After a few hours only a single ork remains.
The Commissar smiles and starts walking slowly towards the xeno, who is charging towards him completely unarmed. The man slowly points his finger, aiming for the ork's head and yells "DAKKA!"
Nothing happens. The ork is getting closer.
"DAKKA!" he repeats, this time louder. 
Nothing. The Ork Boy is almost next to him..
"DAKKA! DAKKA!" 
Nothing. This time his fellow Guardsmen are supporting his suppressing fire with even more "DAKKA!"
The ork is just a few metres away from the man and now he notices that the creature is mumbling something to himself. 
And then the Commissar gets crushed to death by an invisible force. A millisecond before his death he finally hears what the Ork has been saying all this time.
"I'M A STOMPA! I'M A STOMPA! I'M A STOMPA!"

4 comments:

  1. Glad you liked it! And thanks for following this blog. ;)

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  2. Good one! Thanks for writing that out, I enjoyed it.

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